Monday, June 1, 2009

facing my fears:

...given that this blog's origins are being built on the goal to not only share my daily artistic inspiration, but to hopefully offer inspiration for others, I did not intend for my first post to contain a spider. At any rate, such is the case.

This large arachnid (please use shower head as reference) appeared in the bathroom this morning. As I was brushing my teeth, immediately my super-human-spider-radar honed in on his reflection in the mirror.

Spiders fill me with pure dread.

To be fair, I must admit that I have both a sordid and honorable history with these creatures, though most of my life and even more so nowadays, my intentions have dwelt purely from respect for these wonderful bug-eaters. In an effort to practice my respect
for them and face this particular fear (a la meme seconde), I tried to let everything go...

I left him alone.

I came back a few hours later to shower and found that he had moved a little closer to that specific area, and was still ceiling bound. I maintained a calm, cool and collected attitude as I stepped in. I was going to be adult about this. I made sure to keep a careful eye on him. After all, I was no fool.

He was getting closer and closer. Fear was mounting.

It didn't take me long to realize that the little bastard was heading directly for me. I was starting to panic. Almost frozen, I could not even muster the courage to do the "spider relocation project" that a dear friend once taught me. By this time, the only thing I could do was climb out of the claw-foot tub to gain more distance. I grabbed my towel and ran for my camera, my most frequently used artistic vehicle these days.
I got back within seconds and not only had he crawled over to the shower head, but he made is his way directly-above-the-spot-that-I-had-just-been-standing. Once he got there, he decided to go in for the landing. Only, instead of eating me alive, he wove his web to suicide. Before I knew it, the water overtook him and swept him away. Dread still lingered within. Shakily I wondered about the disaster that would have occurred if my super-human-spider-radar had not existed and he would have landed directly on me. But something even stronger quickly filled the place of fear. Sorrow overtook me. Surely my intentions were not for him to die. I think I had already proven that.

So, what can I take away from this one brief episode? Perhaps it's one of life's little ways of telling me to stop worrying. That since I do possess super-human-spider-radar, life will just take care of itself. Well, me not worrying is pretty much a long shot, but today however, I did face one of my fears.


  1. This is opposed to a thousand aurora's right? :) You go girl, I think your blog just made my day.

  2. So glad to hear it : ) And yes, that is most definitely one of the roots!

  3. Do (or did) you have a name for your eight-legged friend?